Confessions of a Mom-tog Preparing to be Photographed
Uh-huh. You read that title right.
I’m getting ready for a Motherhood session with our three kids tomorrow with a photographer that I HIGHLY admire. Like….I wanna be her when I grow up kind of thing. I’m so so so excited. So much so that I’m actually nervous that I’ll go all Fan Girl on her.
So when offered, I jumped at this opportunity. I had a legit OOOO-EMMM-GEEEE moment.
But you see, being in front of the camera is a WHOLE different ballgame than being behind it. That’s because I feel confident and strong behind the camera. I feel MUCH less so in front of it.
But I was thinking today…..preparing myself and my kiddos to be in front of the camera has given me some new perspective on what it’s like to be a client. The excitement. The worry. The insecurity. I’m right there with ya.
When clients (Moms, especially) tell me that they’re worried about getting their hair colored, their nails manicured, and choosing the right outfits, I tend to tell them that they’re gorgeous and not to worry. I tell them that we will have a great time and I know that they’ll relax once we start our session.
And I mean that because almost without fail, I am able to break down walls through my lens and interaction with clients.
But I’m not going to lie….my own physical insecurities have come out FULL FORCE this week, thinking about being IN FRONT of the camera.
…..like this extra 30 lbs I’m carrying…am I going to find a gown that fits me right? Is this 8-, 5-, and 2-year post-partum body that doesn’t get enough sleep and loves chocolate going to look okay in a Fine Art portrait?!?! Or am I going to look how I feel at the end of the day….exhausted, chubby, and a bit haggard?
…..and look at all of these grey hairs that stand out in a sea of dark brown hair…ugh. Me to Me: “It’s okay, Whitney, it’s who you are. You earned those things.”
….and my chest that doesn’t fit in to any of my strapless bras because my body has changed so much after nursing three children.
….and don’t get me started on having time to get my nails manicured during all of this COVID 19 mess! Not gonna happen.
And the stress of dressing three children properly….what in the world am I going to dress the kids in?!?!?! The boys have both had growth spurts and fit in nothing but play clothes and school uniforms. They both hate wearing collared shirts….are they going to cooperate for this?
And shoes….seriously….finding decent shoes that fit the kids is the bane of my existence. It’s not like neon green light-up sneakers go very well with a suit and tie.
I spent a lot of yesterday wondering how in the hell I’m going to get three kids to a photography studio, get my own hair and make up done, remember to pack all of the stuff that I need to remember, press clothes, etc. etc. etc. and make it to the session without going crazy.
BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT!?!?!?
I’m looking forward to it. Because I know that no matter how things go, these images will be ones that my family and children will treasure forever. I know that my photographer is a professional and has likely dealt with stressed out Mamas, children who hate to get dressed up, and the whole nine yards. I trust the artist whose profession it is to coach, pose, and photograph their clients. I know that no matter what happens tomorrow, these photos of Carter, Charlie, and Sophie’s Mommy, together with them….belly rolls and all….will be framed, will hang on walls, will be put in to albums and shown to their own children someday and will be loved.
So self-consciousness be damned! These babies will have pictures with THEIR MAMA!!!